just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just gift wrapped bread.
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I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
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only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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