obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
