Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
