Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
