i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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