I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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