Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
