mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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