He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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