If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
