Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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