dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
A bitchslap is in order.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
