i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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