I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
