Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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