Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
