she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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