that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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