No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
