It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
we should paint friendship bongs
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