so explain again why im purple
no
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
