if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just puked most of my soul out..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
