When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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