Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Randomize
