she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
