Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
