So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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