The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
