Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
