im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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