4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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