Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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