You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
