I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize