im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
