the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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