she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
