YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
