I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
