i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
