i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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