Your face is a jimmy john
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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