Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
