someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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