Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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