what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
