I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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