shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
