Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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