Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
