I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
