The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
