Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
what day is it and did you see me today?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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