just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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