just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
