C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
