doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
