I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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