Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
