foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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